The Power of Five

We are 5 of us

3 brothers, 2 sisters

Perfect symmetry

Paanch Pandav I used to consider ourselves

And we have been closely bonded since years – living within a few kms of each other (mostly). Summers, festivals, birthdays – spent together, holidays spent together, taken vacations together. It was bliss. I still remember us staying up late, whispering secrets in the dark as the parents went off to sleep; I remember spending evenings on trips spent in each other’s bedrooms talking incessantly. I also recall running off together during family functions to spend our own time together.

I never felt the need for a sibling because my cousins and me were the most closely-knit bond I shared and they never let me feel alone.

But it all started changing one day.

One day – 10 years ago

My eldest cousin – left for studies abroad. He was the first of us to leave India for studies. We were happy for him, yet emotional at sending him so far off from ourselves. All 4 of us came to see him off at the airport. The 5 of us together. We have a photo of the moment – the last photo of the 5 of us together.

Because after that, 2 years later my younger cousin left for his studies, to another country. And we were just the 3 of us left back in India. Juggling work, college, time zones, vacations proved to be a difficult task. We used to meet – on laboriously managed video calls that could match the different time zones. But as lives became more complex, free times became rarer and that coordination went for a toss too.

It is not that the bond disappeared. We are still just as closely knit. We have the capacity to take off where we last left off whenever we meet. Audio/video calls between us can easily last hours. But the physical touch lacks and it doesn’t feel the same. 

And now last week, our youngest cousin left the nest as well – flew off to a third country for his education – leaving 2 sisters behind, wiping their tears, hearts heavy, seeing the dream of the 5 of them together soon disappear further down the horizon.

Yes, I got emotional. But it also made me wonder. In the fast-changing world, technological developments – are people really coming closer or going farther? The video calls give a perception of people being able to be near while they are far, but are they really? Can the presence over a video really compensate for the physical presence in someone’s life? The joy of spending moments together, laughing over silly jokes, having wordless conversations over dining tables, sharing a slice of cake or a late-night walk? It’s what I miss most right now.

Apart from us of course – the 5 of us. Together. Again. After seemingly eternity. Trying to recreate that one photo that we had taken 10 years ago. The Paanch Pandav!


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